Resources for talking to parents about death

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What is the most uncomfortable conversation you’ve ever had with your parents? Was it the first time you broke curfew or got into a fender-bender? Or maybe it came after you brought home a date who refused to eat your mom’s cooking.

Many of us avoid talking to our parents about what will happen when they die, because it is uncomfortable, and we don’t want to think about it anyway. But if the worst were to happen, and they were to pass away suddenly, you would be faced with making lots of decisions on their behalf during a very stressful time, without really knowing what they would have wanted.

Talking to your parents about end-of-life issues such as medical directives, funeral plans and wills can be a really healthy conversation to have, and give both of you the peace of mind that comes from having it all out in the open.

So how do you start the conversation? First, pick a time when you and your parents are relaxed and able to have a discussion. You can start by simply asking them what to do if anything ever happened to them. Where their important papers are located, who to notify, etc. They don’t have to share all of the details with you, but you do need to know where to find information when you need it.

The conversation may naturally lead into their thoughts on funeral or cremation arrangements. Or it might not. Let the discussion flow, and perhaps revisit it another time if you don’t get all of the information you need.

A good time to have this conversation is before they take a trip or a planned vacation. They will probably already give you emergency contact information and an itinerary, so it can be a natural fit.

Another idea is to make your own arrangements, and sit down and discuss them with your parents so they will know your personal wishes. Then you can ask them if they have given any thought to their own plans. You can formalize arrangements with a cremation or funeral provider, or simply make some notes on what you do or do not want.

At our funeral home, we make the advance planning process very simple, and we're always here if you have questions.

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What are the first steps when a loved one passes away? The first step is to notify the proper authorities. If your loved one passes at home, you’ll need to contact emergency services. If the passing occurs in a hospital or care facility, staff will guide you through the next steps. Once this has been done, you can contact a funeral home. Our team is available to help you begin arrangements and coordinate transportation of your loved one into our care. Do I need to plan the funeral right away? While some decisions need to be made relatively quickly, you do not have to finalize every detail immediately. We will help you prioritize what needs to be handled first and give you time to consider the more personal elements of the service. What types of funeral services are available? There are several options available depending on your preferences, beliefs, and budget. These may include: Traditional funeral services with a viewing and burial Memorial services (held after burial or cremation) Graveside services Celebration of life Cremation services with or without a formal ceremony We are here to help you create a meaningful service that reflects your loved one’s life. How much does a funeral cost? Funeral costs can vary widely depending on the services and options selected. Factors that may influence cost include: Burial or cremation choice Casket or urn selection Venue and staffing Transportation Printed materials and flowers We are committed to transparency and will walk you through all options to help you make decisions that align with your needs and budget. Can I personalize the service? Absolutely. Personalization is one of the most meaningful parts of a funeral service. Families often include: Favorite music or readings Photo displays or memory tables Video tributes Special themes or colors Cultural or religious traditions Our goal is to help you create a service that truly reflects your loved one’s personality and legacy. What should I bring to the arrangement meeting? It’s helpful to bring: A recent photo of your loved one Clothing for burial or cremation Personal information (full name, date of birth, Social Security number, etc.) Military discharge papers (if applicable) Preplanning documents (if arrangements were made in advance) Don’t worry if you don’t have everything—we can guide you through what’s needed. What is preplanning and is it necessary? Preplanning allows individuals to make their own funeral arrangements in advance. While it is not required, it can ease the burden on loved ones and ensure that personal wishes are honored. Many families find comfort in knowing these decisions have already been made. What happens after the service? After the service, we continue to support families by: Assisting with necessary paperwork Providing grief resources Helping coordinate burial or cremation follow-up Offering guidance on memorialization options Our care does not end after the service—we are here for you in the days and months that follow. We’re Here to Help Planning a funeral is never easy, but you don’t have to do it alone. Our compassionate team is here to answer your questions, guide you through each step, and help you create a meaningful tribute for your loved one. If you have additional questions or would like to begin planning, please don’t hesitate to reach out.